Self harm

I'm aware this blog isn't popular or anything close. I'm still too shy to share it properly on my social media sites.. Don't know why.. Maybe because I know some people will think it's a joke. I know they are just bitter out of jealous ness at the end of the day but I don't think I'm in a good enough place with myself to withstand too many jeers and criticism I suppose. 

I have done loads in the past that have made people look at me and think "wow what a psycho". I can't blame them, I would have thought the same of myself too. 

I have had to pick myself up from a few tough scenarios and carry on as if nothing ever happened and I have been ashamed of myself for a lot of the last 6 years of my life. 

I still have to see and hear of a lot of the people who never did and never will give me a second chance, who I know are in the background looking on this finding any small thing to laugh about. That's just what people do. 

I don't want this to sound like I'm pitying myself. I'm not. I know I have done wrong I will be the first to admit it. 

I have struggled with self worth for about half of my short life, if not longer! I'm only now dragging myself out of it's tight clutches! It's such a hard habit to break. 

One thing that really pisses me off is the taboo of mental illnesses. It really angers me when someone jokes about saying someone should kill themselves, or that someone is crazy for self harming or for going off the rails or acting different to this "norm". 

One thing the place I've grown up in isn't short on, is small minded people, scared to see life for what it really is for some people, a struggle!! 

Yet every one of my friends families are touched with mental illness. 

I plan on blogging more about mental illness in particular self harm because that is what I've experienced myself first hand. 

There is a huge stereotype attached to self harm and it's with good reason I suppose, it became glamourous almost to self harm.. But I, and lots others who didn't even know of this glamour, who really had a hard time are genuine sufferers not looking for attention. 

Anyway.. More on this topic and it's stupid small town stereotyping later.. Cause I gotta get some sleep!!! Haha! 

Goodnight x